Visualize this
by MLaw
Summary: For Jantojones who asked for 'just a little something to distract me from the miserable weather" Here it is cuz!


"Where are you dragging me Illya?" Solo was seated in the passenger seat of the silver Impala that Illya was driving."And why did you have to take the convertible? It's freezing outside, and the canvas top doesn't exactly…"

"By your complaining, I would say that I am having a bit of influence on you," Illya chuckled.

Solo squared his shoulders, acting indignant. "No you are not rubbing off on me; I just find it odd you're not telling me where we're going. You know I don't like surprises."

"We are almost there."

"Where is there? All I know is we're heading down the Belt Parkway...wait. Are we going to Brighton Beach?"

" I was wondering when you would guess."

"Are we going to eat at the Odessa? You feeling homesick for all things Russian?"

"Not _all_ things, but there is something I have been wanting to do and decided this would be the perfect day for it. I thought you might enjoy it as well."

Napoleon screwed up his face, trying to think of what that could possibly mean, but gave up as soon as Kuryakin announced they arrived at their destination.

He peered out of the car window, looking at the snowy sidewalk; finally his eyes drifted up to the sign on the front of the building.

' **СОБИ в Баня."**

Sobi's Bathhouse in parentheses written beneath it in English.

"A banya?" Napoleon looked surprised. He'd never been in a real Russian bath house before.

"As close to a banya as one can find here. Back home they are a separate housing, constructed near a river or lake. Here is not possible. The ocean is not suitable, only fresh water is."

"Suitable for what exactly?" Solo warily asked.

"You will find out my friend. Now come, it is early and will not be very busy so we will not have to engage in any unnecessary socialization. Most people come here after work to relax and it becomes a place for communication. During the breaks from the steam, people walk out to a separate room to cool down, relax and converse about life, ideas and beliefs with one another."

"Okay," Napoleon thought to himself," a steam bath isn't so bad. Though they had one back at headquarters plus a lovely female masseuse, so why did Illya have to bring him all the way to Brooklyn for a steam and his company.

After paying the manager a very reasonable price and getting their large white towel,s they proceeded into a room called a _predbannik_ or pre-bath. Here there were pegs to hang up clothing and benches to rest on. The walls were made of large hewn logs, not unlike a log cabin.

There the men stripped and wrapped the long towels around their waists.

"This way," Illya beckoned with his hand.

They walked into the washing room. It had a hot water tap which used water heated by a steam room stove and a vessel or tap for cold water to mix water of a comfortable temperature for washing.

The heater had three compartments: a fire box that was fed from the entrance room, the rock chamber, which had a small hole to throw the water into and a water tank at the top. The top of the water tank was closed to prevent vapour from infiltrating the banya. Water to be thrown on the rocks was be taken from the tank as this made better steam than if cold water were used.

Illya placed his gun in a towel beside him and Napoleon followed suit, it was never a good idea to leave one's self vulnerable.

Kuryakin then used water from a nearby bucket, pouring it over the heated rocks in the stove, as and Solo sat on the benches.

"Getting a good sweat on before using water is preferred to using steam right away, as the sweat is thought to protect and condition the skin from the steam,' Illya explained.

He sighed as the hot steam vapors swirled around him, feeling stiffened muscles throughout his body relax as he began to perspire.

Illya handed Napoleon a bunch of wrapped branches.

"What's this?"

It is called venik. They are leafy branches bound together as a small broom, usually made from birch or oak, or sometimes eucalyptus.

"And what exactly are they used for?"

"For fanning the heat. Once your body becomes hot and the temperature is high, rhythmic smacking of the venik all over the body makes for a good massage."

Napoleon chuckled. " I'd much prefer Ingrid's massages at headquarters."

"My friend, will you just relax and go with it? I **bet** you will enjoy it. Now this is how it is done," Illya draped a towel over his head covering his face, and he began to gently hit his back and arms with the _venik_. "Doing so helps to improve your circulation. Try it."

Napoleon did and he could detect the scent of the eucalyptus, and feeling it on his skin. The sensation was quite stimulating.

They sat steaming themselves for quite a while until Illya finally announced they were done.

"Now for the next step, follow me." Napoleon traipsed after his partner, going through a led... outside?

"Illya are you out of your mind? It's freezing out here.

"No. Here we complete our bath by taking the plunge." He pointed to a small concrete swimming pool that had bits of ice floating it it. "Sadly this one is partially heated as there is no running current to keep it from completely freezing over."

Kuryakin stripped off his towel and stood there naked, the steam rising from his glistening body.

"And now to plunge." He jumped into the water with a splash, going under and then rising back to the surface to gasp for air. He looked at his partner still standing there. Napoleon had removed the towel draped over his head and wrapped it around his shoulders.

"Come on it is your turn. I assure you it is quite invigorating."

"Not on your crazy Russian life!" Napoleon barked.

Illya reached up and grabbed Solo by the ankle, pulling him into the water.

Once Napoleon surfaced, he swore. "Jesus Chri...you call this heated?"

"Now now, you must not speak like that in front of owners of the banya," Illya pointed to two men who were just about to take the plunge themselves.

"Good morning to you Vasha, Michail," Kuryakin called.

"And to you and your friend Illya. It is a good day for this, da?" They dove in without hesitation.

Napoleon saluted his greeting with a shivering hand as the men surfaced.

Illya seeing as his lips were turning a **purple** , called for Solo to exit the pool the pool with him.

"Could we go back to the steam room please," Solo's teeth chattered.

"No, we are finished. Time to dry off, get dressed and go back to headquarters.

He picked up their towels, including the ones disguising their weapons and handed one in which Napoleon could wrap himself.

No need for Illya to show the way, as Solo scurried back to the dressing room while his still naked partner followed him. Needless to say Kuryakin didn't seem to mind ummm, dangling in the breeze so to speak.

Napoleon was dressed in no time, while Illya was still drying off with a towel.

"Mad at me? I sincerely thought you would enjoy this my friend," he asked Solo.

"No not mad, but next time you feel like doing this count me out. I'll stick with the sauna and Ingrid's massages back at headquarters."

"Suit yourself."Illya shrugged. He neglected to tell Napoleon of the masseuse they employed here at the bathhouse. She was a buxom blonde named Svetlana.

Kuryakin had a date with her on Friday night and was looking forward to his own private massage from her...among other things.


End file.
